Saturday, June 27, 2009

The 1920's: America's Golden Age

Woodrow Wilson: Not president in the 20's, but close. Well, kind of. But barely. He had a stroke. And unfortunately, he was a racist.

The man was a potent intellectual, a vivid idealist, and possibly could have prevented World War II with his brainchild, The League of Nations.... If politics and partisan rivalries hadn't stopped the United States from actually joining it. He maintained U.S. neutrality as long as he could during WWI, but didn't lack the kahunas to rush in guns ablaze when the time came, either. I plan to name my son after him.

From Wikipedia (the most reliable source on the internet):

"In the late stages of the war, Wilson took personal control of negotiations with Germany, including the armistice. He issued his Fourteen Points, his view of a post-war world that could avoid another terrible conflict. He went to Paris in 1919 to create the League of Nations and shape the Treaty of Versailles, with special attention on creating new nations out of defunct empires. Largely for his efforts to form the League, he was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1919. Wilson collapsed with a debilitating stroke in 1919, as the home front saw massive strikes and race riots, and wartime prosperity turn into postwar depression. He refused to compromise with the Republicans who controlled Congress after 1918, effectively destroying any chance for ratification of the Versailles Treaty. The League of Nations was established anyway, but the United States never joined. Wilson's idealistic internationalism, calling for the United States to enter the world arena to fight for democracy, progressiveness, and liberalism, has been a contentious position in American foreign policy, serving as a model for "idealists" to emulate or "realists" to reject for the following century."

20's Male Swimwear: Not just for smirky college hipsters, but for everyone who did or didn't care how they looked.

It didn't matter if they cared or not. They looked AWESOME.

Flappers: pretty, classy, and fun.

Granted, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been attracted to them had I lived back in the day. I'm holding out for a girl who pretty much eats locusts and wild honey. But still. The style is just so endearingly boyish, yet girly and cute.

Calvin Coolidge: Perhaps the only president who could be considered comparable with Woodrow Wilson.

According to Wikipedia:

"A possibly apocryphal story has it that Dorothy Parker, seated next to him at a dinner, said to him, 'Mr. Coolidge, I've made a bet against a fellow who said it was impossible to get more than two words out of you.' His reply: 'You lose.' Coolidge often seemed uncomfortable among fashionable Washington society; when asked why he continued to attend so many of their dinner parties, he replied 'Got to eat somewhere.'"

Calvin Coolidge could've taken Aaron Burr any day.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Romania: Land of Splendor

I'm just going to lay it on the line. My heart for missions might be in Iran, but Romania is the single best country ever to exist. Especially because of THIS guy:

I'll just tell you, cold and faceless internet, what I've been telling my friends for a while now.

According to Wikipedia:

"When Bulgaria attacked both Serbia and Greece on 16 June 1913 it lost all of Macedonia to Serbia and Southern Dobruja to Romania in the 33–day Second Balkan War, further destabilizing the region."


And you don't want THAT.

Bitches better be watchin they BACK when Romania's around, know what I'm sayin?

And plus..... freaking Bulgaria, what were you THINKING?

Why history is better than math, science, and reading.

Without history, you can't prove that math, science, and reading ever even EXISTED.
Before I even begin with Romania, let's start with current events: THE HISTORY OF THE FUTURE!

Dialogue between North Korea and the world can be briefly summarized like this:

U.S.: "You should chill man."

S. Korea: "Yeah. We don't want to fight."

N. Korea: "Never! North Korea is the greatest country in the world! Prepare to face: THE MILLION MAN ARMY!!!"

U.S.: "You're like four feet tall, you don't scare us. China? Could you help us out here? Korea won't listen."

China: "Yeah, not even I can get behind you this time, bro. Just chill out. Look, we used to be the same, all angry and bitter at the world... But then you move on. You should just build up a really bad ass economy, like we did. That's way better than missiles."

N. Korea: "I would, if it weren't for the fact that I'm the greatest mother-freaking country in the world. Why don't you just go pour a gallon of petrol up your butt and sit on a candle? We want nukes."

Britain: "Okay, now that was just uncalled for. Seriously, Kim."

N. Korea: "I am not Kim Jong Il. I am the voice of the unified Koreas!"

U.S.: "Kim is such a girl's name. IIIIIIII think it's time to freeze all your foreign assets."

N. Korea: "No! Those are the only assets I have!"

China: "And no more luxury cars for you, either."

N. Korea: "That was the one pleasure I had left! You can't do this!"

China: "I'm taking your food away from you, too. You know you can't really do anything about it."

N. Korea: "Darn you all to heck."

Romania: "Don't drop the soap, bitch."